It’s a privilege. It really is. Sitting here on top of the NL East, and looking back at the rest of the league. Stuck in our rearview mirror are the once rivaled Mets. The Jayson Werth led Nationals are far from making the playoffs. Even the Fish who once gave us fits have floundered. The only real competish is Atlanta who we could end up seeing in the playoffs eventually, but as of right now they sit 6.5 games behind us.
It’s comfortable up here. It’s easier now, in the twilight of August, just before the dawn of September, to give up late leads and blow a game. We’ve seen it happen twice this weekend. That’s why I ask,
We’ve heard that statement before. We’ve all thought it. While it’s never boring to watch the Phils, it does get redundant. It’s a weird paradox. I always wanted the Phillies to make the playoffs when I was younger. Gone now are the days when the Phillies’ destiny was in their own hands and maybe they had a shot at the wild card. Gone too are the days when the Mets would produce an epic collapse and the Fightins would steal a division crown from off their heads. Yes, the playing field has changed, and everyone else has to look up the hill at the Phillies.
I know a lot of the fans feel the same way that I do. We want to watch some games that have meaning, some real excitement. We all want that nervousness back in our stomachs. Those playoff butterflies that give you chills when Howard steps to the plate in a tough spot late in a game. We have a little over a month until those feelings return.
So the real question is, what can we do until then?
Let’s all just hope that the Phillies don’t make it interesting down the stretch. We all want them to cruise into the playoffs with a healthy lineup, rotation, and bullpen. I know most of us don’t need more reasons to be pumped for the playoffs, but in this final month here are some things that you can do to prepare for a second parade in 3 years.
1. Stop shaving. I know, it’s crazy right? It’s something that I do every year for the Flyers. Once the playoffs start, you don’t shave. Grow out those playoff beards. In May and June though, they get hot. It gets itchy and long and you just have to grin and bare it. But in October? The wind starts to pick up and anyone willing to grow a playoff beard for the Phils will have their very own insulation on their chin. It’s like a sweater for your face! The last time I grew a playoff beard in October? The year was 2008. We all know what happened then.
2. Speaking of 2008, to get extra pumped, you need to pop in your DVD entitled A Perfect Season: the Phillies 2008 yearbook. I know everyone owns it already but if for some crazy reason you don’t, go right now to Amazon or to the phillies.com store and buy 6 copies. You never know when you’ll need to put that on. It’s the perfect way to get in the right mood for the upcoming playoffs. You can also buy MLB’s official DVD for the 2008 World Series if you like listening to Joe Buck. I like to watch mine on mute.
3. This is probably the most important step of all. We need Hunter Pence to grow out a playoff stache. Hungry recently posted this to his twitter:
Now all I want is to see him with a stache. A handlebar mustache. We all need to take to our twitter’s and get Hunter to grow one helluva a playoff stache. This is the third step to get ready for the playoffs, to get Hunter Pence to grow a playoff mustache. I think that was an open invitation to keep on him until he grows it out. The day that Hunter Pence trots onto the field, rocking a handlebar mustache is the start of a domino effect to a World Series parade.
So there you have it. Three easy things to get you ready for October. Sure there are plenty other things you can do to get ready, such as: shave your head into a Phillies P, make brownies, get black out drunk for a month straight and before you know it: playoffs!, sacrifice your first born to the baseball gods, paint yourself Phillies red, don’t cut your hair, attend the Philadelphia Zoo, bake a Phillies cake and eat it all by yourself, go to every other stadium of playoff caliber teams in the league and put a hex on their ballpark. I will personally be doing the last option.
So now that you’re ready for the playoffs, you no longer need to ask,
SW – Brian Maloney
Tags: A Blurry View, Hunter Pence Stache, October, Playoffs 1 day ago 0 Comments Short URL Share this post! Share on Facebook Tweet This! Leave a Reply Cancel replyYour email address will not be published.Name Email WebsiteCommentYou may use these HTML tags and attributes: Featured ArticlesSelect CategoryBlunt Editorials ArchiveBluntiesBrian Maloney’s ColumnErik Seybold’s ColumnIan Anderson’s ColumnInsights From the BenchJustin Perry’s ColumnKevin Anderson’s ColumnPost Game AnalysisPre GameRandom EntriesSeries PreviewSeries Wrap UpPass The BluntLatest From TwitterHa Besides I can out piss anyone @PHSportsGoddess RT @cubishboy What is this pissing match between Phillies bloggers that I'm reading about? by Get Blunted@TheBigBurrini Wait, me or @HunterPence3? I don't think he'll give you his. by Get Blunted@hiphop_JORGE O ok. Sorry all crackas look alike to me. by Get Blunted@ErikSeyboldPHI I look like a pornstar with mine. No one looks great (save Keith Hernandez) all stachey. It's just something we have to do. by Get Blunted@hiphop_JORGE Am I the cracka in question? by Get BluntedGotta Pay the bills MLB Rumors & News > Warning: The morons who operate this website are in no way affiliated with MLB or the Philadelphia Phillies. Please note that the opinions shared within are not endorsed by MLB or its affiliates - well, at least not publicly. All photos that appear on the site are copyrighted by their respective owners. We claim no credit for them unless otherwise noted. If you own the rights to any of the photos and do not wish them to appear on the site please contact us and they will be promptly removed.
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