Monday, March 5, 2012

OMG, Baseball’s Like Totally Back

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Bringin' High Hopes Without The Smoke

OMG, Baseball’s Like Totally Back

Get excited, people, Phillies baseball is back!  Today marks opening day for the Grapefruit league.  Sure, a lot of this is a waste of time and not really important unless the number on your back is something like 89 and you’re trying to prove to the suits that you too can be a big leaguer, but for those of us who bleed baseball, today marks the beginning of another year of hardball.  We will debate whether Dom Brown is good enough to play in the Majors (he’s not) or if Jonathan Papelbon should change his entrance music from Shipping up to Boston (it’s not a big deal) or if Doc Halladay is a man or machine (trick question, he’s actually a man-chine) and much, much more.

Now, as for today’s game against the Yankees, here’s what we have to look forward to:

Cole Hamels, Dave Bush, Jonathan Papelbon, Dontrelle Willis, Raul Valdes, Chad Qualls, and Mike “Man-Crush” Stutes are all scheduled to get the ball for the Phillies.  The starting line up reads like this: Rollins at short, Victoino in center, Pence in right, Thome DH’ing, Ty Wiggington at third, JMJ holding it down at first, Dom “Not ready for primetime player” Brown catching butterflies in left, Dr. Erik Kratz catching, and Mini Mart at second.

Two players that you won’t see today are Chase Utley and Placido Polanco who are not scheduled to play any ball in the opener.

Game starts at 1:05.  Happy Phillies viewing, everyone.  Let the cheering, alcoholism, and name-calling commence.

 

SW-Ian Anderson

Tags: Grapefruit

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